In the first day of kindergarten, Alexander Lane’s 3-year-old daughter stayed in the car for an hour at the drop-off as she didn’t want to go inside. On the second day she entered the class with tears in tears.
But by the third day she was eagerly running into the classroom.
boot kindergarten Or, kindergarten is a milestone, but it is also a source of anxiety for some children. This includes many children experiencing their first extended period of separation from their parents or guardians.
Lane already knew that his daughter was nervous about leaving her parents. She had resisted going to some classes a few months ago, so Lane decided to give her a break before signing up for kindergarten.
“It’s not productive to say to someone, ‘If you push through and do it, you just enjoy this.’ Lane in Minneapolis said:
Separation anxiety is not particularly unusual Young children. In fact, experts say it is a natural part of growth.
“As we start a new grade, we enter a new classroom. Our routines are changing… we’ll have this anxiety and time to expect our kids to need to make a transition,” said Erica Lee, a psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital.
However, if a child exhibits long-term symptoms of separation anxiety, it may interfere with daily activities and require clinical diagnosis. Below are some steps to help young children adapt to school and make drop-off easier.
Teach your children and parents to be brave
In kindergarten, almost 20 years, children who experience separation anxiety will have a small number of children each year in Kimberly Scowcarek in Pinellas County, Florida. Her goal was to show that school is a safe space where she can make new friends.
And the message wasn’t just for the uneasy kids – it was for parents, she said.
“Some parents… they’re scarier than their kids, especially if they’re their first child,” Scowrek said.
Isabella Milanjac, a psychologist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, said parents who feel their children can’t handle difficult situations can’t handle difficult situations. Inflicting children’s fears, such as encouraging children to avoid school, often exacerbates separation anxiety, as avoidance creates more pain, Milanjac said.
That’s why she reinforces the importance of raising a brave child with her parents. To face a scary situation – in this case being alone shows them that they can do tough work, even if it’s uncomfortable.
“It gives them the opportunity to learn how to do themselves and learn how to be alone.
Milanac proposes a two-sided approach to children who are already dealing with separation anxiety. While it is important to respectfully treat children’s anxiety, a “compassionate limiting setting” is essential to building confidence.
When Miles, the child of Patrick Edmondson, started kindergarten in 2023, the 3-year-old got emotional when it was time to prepare in the morning and separate from his parents. Edmondson and his wife were sympathetic to the fears of their son, but he said he didn’t want to indulge in his anxiety by having him skip school.
“If he was really having problems, that option exists, but we don’t really reveal it to him,” said Edmondson of Washington, DC. “If that’s the case, he’ll say, ‘I don’t want to do it. It’s so scary, I don’t want to go today.’ ”
Miles’ parents implemented several tactics to help their son, including providing a sense of security that they’ll be back for him. Another tool was to choose Miles’ “Toy of Courage.” This made him feel safer at school with hot wheel cars and stuffed animals, Edmondson said.
Now in kindergarten, Miles takes a bus to get into school, and he loves it, Edmondson said.
Gradual exposure and building routine
Gradually exposing children to separation can help them become more comfortable, Lee said. Parents can start by doing a short burst of separation, such as going to another room for five minutes to build up the child’s tolerance. Once the child gets used to it, the parents can increase the length of time within reasonable limits.
Creating a simple goodbye ritual can also benefit children who deal with separation anxiety, Lee said.
Lane, a father from Minneapolis, eased her daughter’s transition to formal kindergarten by taking part in a half-day class in the summer.
They talk about what activities she does in class on Sunday nights, stuffing her lunch and picking up clothes together, which makes her more comfortable, he said.
“That kind of thing involves her, so it’s not just something going on with her,” he said.
Be careful if your anxiety lasts for several weeks
Many symptoms of separation anxiety revolve around delay or prevention Separation from caregivers. That means your child will be resistant to throwing tantrums at school drop-offs, chasing parents around the house, or sleeping in their own room.
“That fear of separation is really rooted in a child fearing something bad will happen to their parents or that if they are separated from their caregivers, something bad will happen to them,” Lee said.
When separation anxiety lasts for weeks or months, Lee said it might be time to check in with her pediatrician. But that’s also what they said is that they can overcome at any age because it’s “very treatable.”
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