NEW YORK (AP) – Making mistakes at work can lead to a cycle of negative thinking.
Harmful thoughts swirl: “I am con man. “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m failing at my job.”
Feels like a con man – Do doubt your abilities Despite their track record of success, it is especially common among women and members of marginalized groups. Even on days when everything is going right, it can be difficult to move away from the cycle of self-doubt.
However, there is a way to interrupt that downward spiral.
Many people have discovered it Cognitive Behavior TherapyA form of talk therapy that helps you look into internal monologues such as “I’m going to say the wrong thing” or “I’m not enough” – replace them Neutral or positive mantra.
“What we do with cognitive behavioral therapy is to help people identify these negative thoughts, and we teach them to evaluate those thoughts and see how accurate they are,” said Judith Beck, president of the Pennsylvania-based Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
“If they’re not accurate, we’ll discuss a more realistic perspective on this,” she said.
To contact students on social Emotional Randolph Public Schools, a non-Boston district, held a recent seminar on helping children reconstruct negative emotions using cognitive behaviors Treatmentor CBT.
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“We’ve seen a lot of effort and we’ve seen a lot of people living in the world,” said Alpha Sanford, chief of development and student services, who launched the initiative.
During training, Christine Brink, assistant principal for special education, was thought to have “Wow, I need this just like my kids.”
“Being a young manager in this role is new to me,” Brink added. “Many times I have con man syndrome. I choose to regret it later.”
Why focus on negatives
If you notice that you often have negative thoughts, you are not alone. There is an evolutionary reason for this.
“It was very important for us to be vigilant when we were cavemen,” Beck said. Preparing for the worst possible outcomes helped people stay alive. Some worries, such as “I don’t have enough time to complete this project,” could motivate people to get things done, she said.
However, prolonging what’s at issue can be unhealthy. Kristen Doyle, director of the Albert Ellis Institute, a New York-based psychotherapy training organization, says we may rule out positive reinforcement and disregard and overemphasizing the perceptions we have received.
Your practice Positive beliefs Telling them to yourself with strength, vitality and frequency helps them build healthier thinking muscles, she said.
Hold that idea. Is that really true?
One of the first steps to reconstructing useless ideas is to identify what is being repeated in your mind. Check if it is effective. What evidence is there to support them?
“Telling yourself, ‘I’m not enough to be here’ only leads me to the path of self-fulfilling prophecy, and you’ll make that worst case scenario happen,” Doyle said. “Why is it enough for someone to be in the room? Why do you make something that’s good enough for someone to do their job?”
When someone thinks they are con artists, Doyle asked, “Find out why they are not con artists. What are their strengths? Why were they hired?”
For example, when Catherine Mason, a high school teacher in New York, was asked to reconsider the section of her lesson plans, she had some damaging self-doubt.
“You’re a terrible teacher. You’re so bad at this. Why can’t you get it?” And it was all inside,” Mason said. Acting out of fear, she rewritten the entire lesson plan.
Now, instead of jumping to the worst conclusion, she pauses to look into her thoughts. “What did they actually say to you?” she asks herself. “Did they say the actual words? “Are you terrible?” Did they actually say, “Do you have to throw away the entire lesson?” ”
People who think “I’m not enough” say, “What does “sufficient” actually mean? “You can challenge that idea by asking. Doyle proposed.
Throw under the microscope
Some therapists become creative when working with clients to identify negative feelings and beliefs. Avigail Lev, a psychologist at San Francisco’s Bay Area CBT Center, has clients write down phrases like “I don’t value the work I’m doing” and “I’m not doing enough to get a raise.”
She then guides the client through exercises, spreading the strength of those ideas, such as reading the sentences backwards, counting words in statements, and writing phrases in the cloud.
It can take time and practice to successfully reconstruct negative thoughts that have been regenerated in our minds for years. When Renee Baker studied architecture at university, professors and instructors were frequently torn by her work. The criticism was designed to thicken her skin. But they had lasting impact.
“There’s a self-doubt that comes with being told, literally, ‘You’re not enough. Your ideas aren’t enough. Your work isn’t enough,'” says Baker, now director of project management at Inform Studio, a design company. “A lot of my self-doubt feels like my voice. And what I think, what I believe, what I have passion is not as important as the next person.”
So Baker worked with therapist to challenge her toxic core beliefs and exchanged them for more neutral thoughts. At work, she practiced speaking, even when her throat felt tight. anxiety. Over time, she became There’s less anxiety And share her ideas more comfortably.
Find replacement ideas
You can be specific when you are looking for alternative healthier mantras.
“When we see this sentence, they don’t value the work I’m doing. Are there any examples of when you felt that your work has been valued? Are there any examples of when people evaluated your work?” asked Lev.
You can also reframe your thoughts about others that are part of your work.
Eleanor Forbes, a social worker at Randolph Public Schools, helps teachers and administrators learn to apply CBT techniques. When staff complain that the younger person is manipulative, she helps them reconstruct their ideas. “Why not say this young man is just using his survival skills?” she said.
Assistant Principal Brink has learned to reconstruct his own negative thoughts and says, “I made a lot of great choices today,” or “This worked,” and “I can try again tomorrow with X, Y and Z.”
It’s helpful to prepare scripted phrases when negative thoughts resurface, she said.
“I have this,” she says. “One step at a time.”
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