NEW YORK (AP) — wedding It means a celebration of love. It may also be necessary. invited guests Making financial commitments that cause stress.
Whether to pay for hotel and airfare to participate destination wedding Alternatively, friends and relatives often feel pressured to spend a lot of money before the couple gets married, as they have to prepare different outfits and gifts for multiple pre-wedding events.
A sense of obligation or budget constraints can lead to resentment, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings among friends and family. The person who will be the future spouse trying to make plans worried about their dream wedding own expenses You may need to take into account the potential costs to your guests.
“Money is part of the way we take care of each other,” says Christine Hargrove, a licensed therapist and associate director of the University of Georgia Center on Love and Money. “But don’t let finances get in the way of healthy, supportive lifelong friendships and family relationships.”
Hargrove says budget issues often become friendship issues for couples and members of their wedding party. Asking someone to be your groomsmen or bridesmaid is usually a way to show your appreciation, but sometimes it can go unrecognized. Possible financial burden It’s not just about attending a bachelor or bachelorette party, but the big day itself.
“If someone says, ‘I care about you and would love to go to your wedding, but I can’t afford to go to a wedding and spend five days in the Caribbean,’ don’t take it personally,” Hargrove advises.
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Conversations around money can be very emotional, but approaching the topic with understanding can benefit everyone involved, Hargrove recommended.
“Couples need to keep in mind that everyone’s budgets and backgrounds vary, as do their job responsibilities and ability to take paid time off,” says Sarah Schreiber, a former wedding magazine editor turned wedding consultant.
Here are some recommended methods engaged couple We offer ways to reduce your wedding guest costs and allow your guests to attend without going into debt.
For couples
Book various hotel options
It is customary for couples getting married to reserve blocks of rooms at discounted rates for guests from out of town. Schreiber recommends having at least a few hotel options in different price ranges.
Offer to pay for some services
We will pay the round-trip transportation expenses. wedding venuepaying for childcare if children are not invited to the celebration, and hosting breakfast in the morning are other ways couples can make their wedding cheaper For guestsaccording to Cathy Horrell, wedding planner Based in Pittsburgh.
“There’s very little you can do here and there to account for the cost of being able to feed your guests,” Horrell said.
Rachel Lawrence, head of advice and planning at budgeting app Monarch, said specifying “no gifts” on invitations is also a way to cut expenses for guests.
participate openly in the wedding party
Hargrove says letting wedding attendees and other close friends know in advance how much an overseas bachelor party, tuxedo rental, and make-up will cost, so they can decide if they can attend.
Someone agrees to join the wedding party and later the bride and groom expensive tastethey may feel cornered into making big purchases they can’t afford, she says.
Don’t take it personally if your guests can’t attend
If a friend or relative says they can’t attend pre-wedding events or the wedding itself because of costs, Hargrove advises being kind and polite.
“If you accept that gracefully, you’ll have a lot less relationship problems. It shows a lot of respect, it shows honesty. People appreciate that, and there’s a lot less hurt feelings,” she said.
For guests
Share costs with friends
If attending a wedding is too expensive, consider splitting it among your group of friends, says Esther Lee, associate editor and wedding expert at The Knot. Other guests may also have more room in their budget, such as sharing a hotel room, sleeping on someone’s couch, going on a group trip, or splitting the cost of transportation to the airport.
It is OK to skip some events
Between bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and weekend destination weddings, expenses can add up. If you’re trying to stay on budget, it’s okay to skip some events and choose to attend the ones that seem most meaningful to the people you’re getting married to.
“It’s hard to say no, and we want to be there for everyone. But if it’s not in your budget, there’s no need to go into debt to make ends meet,” says Chelsea Hoddle, a financial planner at financial services app Domain Money.
We recommend letting your friends and family know in advance which events you can attend.
save money on wardrobe
If you are on a tight budget, you may have to cut back on your wedding outfit. Renting a dress or tuxedo from online websites like Rent The Runway, Nuuly, or Black Tux can be cheaper than buying clothes you rarely wear.
The Knot’s Lee said guests can wear dresses they already own or consider borrowing one from a friend.
“No one will judge you if you put something back on, so don’t be your harshest critic,” she said.
Be transparent with your friends
If you can’t afford to attend your loved one’s wedding, Hargrove says there’s no need to feel embarrassed. Being honest about why you won’t be a part of their special day can help prevent negative feelings and misunderstandings.
“It clears the air when you want to be honest with someone. It’s amazing how powerful, clear, honest, and direct self-disclosure can be,” Hargrove said.
If you won’t be attending your friend’s wedding, try showing your love in other ways, like inviting them to dinner or sending them flowers on the day of the wedding. An inexpensive gesture allows you to show your love without sacrificing yourself or your finances.
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