vice president JD Vance He recently told a packed university arena that he hoped this would happen. his hindu wife Someday, he will convert to Christianity and shine a spotlight on the very sensitive issues faced by interfaith couples.
Experts who have counseled hundreds of couples who don’t share their religious beliefs say the key is to respect each other’s faith traditions and have honest conversations about how to raise children. Most people agree that applying pressure or expecting the other person to change can be detrimental to a relationship, especially for couples in public.
“Respecting your partner and everything they bring to your marriage—every part of their identity—is essential to the integrity that a marriage requires,” says Susan Katz Miller, author of the book “Being Both: Embracing Two Religions in One Interfaith Family.”
“Having a secret plan doesn’t usually lead to success,” she said.
Vance converted to Catholicism five years into their marriage. Usha Chirkuri Vancespoke of her hope for conversion while taking questions at the gathering. turning point america Event at the University of Mississippi. One woman asked how he and his wife raise their children without giving them the sense that their religion supersedes her beliefs.
“Do I hope that someday she will be moved in some way by the things that moved me in church? Well, honestly, I hope so, because I believe in the Christian gospel, and I hope that eventually my wife will see that as well,” the vice president said. “But even if she didn’t, that doesn’t matter to me because God says everyone has free will.”
Vance’s comments received widespread criticism. In a statement to the vice president, the Hindu American Foundation cited a history of Christians attempting to convert Hindus and said the rise in anti-Hindu rhetoric online often comes from Christian sources.
“All of these things support the sentiment that your statements regarding your wife’s religious tradition reflect a belief that there is only one true path to salvation, a concept that is completely absent from Hinduism, and that path is through Christ,” the statement said.
Vance’s press office did not comment for this article. But Vance took to social media to interact with critics who accused him of throwing his wife’s religion under the bus, calling the comments “disgusting.” He said his wife was the “most amazing blessing” in his life and that she encouraged him to return to his faith.
“She is not a Christian and has no plans to convert, but like many people in interfaith marriages and other interfaith relationships, I hope that one day she will think the same way I do,” Vance said in the X post. “I’m just going to continue to love her and support her and talk to her about faith and life and everything else because she’s my wife.”
Interfaith marriages are more common today
a 2015 study by Pew Research CenterA recent survey that asked Americans about interfaith marriage found that 39% of Americans married since 2010 have a spouse from a different religious group. In contrast, only 19% of people who married before 1960 reported having an interfaith marriage.
Miller, whose mother was Christian and father Jewish, said the number of interfaith couples in the United States has increased over the past decade. Her mother chose to raise her children Jewish.
“Interfaith couples have a variety of options,” Miller says. “They can choose one or both religions. They can choose a new religion or they can choose no religion. Many couples are making that choice now.”
But “pressuring or expecting your spouse to convert is not a good foundation for a successful marriage,” she says.
At the Turning Point event, Vance told the audience that he and his wife had decided to raise their children as Christians. He said they attend Christian schools and participate in Catholic milestone sacraments, including their eldest son receiving his first Communion a year ago.
Mr. Vance said that when he met his wife at Yale Law School, they were both atheists or agnostics. She grew up in a non-religious Hindu immigrant family that incorporated Hindu rituals into their family life. 2014 wedding. vance became Catholic In 2019.
John Grabowski, a theology professor at the Catholic University of America, said the Catholic Church requires interfaith couples to raise their children as Catholics, which is a requirement for Catholics to obtain permission to marry outside the faith. Grabowski and his wife help interfaith couples prepare for marriage.
“If your faith is the most important thing in your life, you want to share it with your spouse,” he says, adding that it is a natural expression of love for Christians to want their partners to join them in eternal life.
“However, the Catholic Church maintains that spouses should not be forced or pressured into their faith,” he says. “It’s a fine line.”
Conversion in interfaith relationships is the subject of Netflix’s hit show “ no one wants this” This romantic comedy depicts the relationship between a Reform rabbi and an agnostic woman, including the pressures she faces as she considers converting to Judaism.
Vance’s comments provided a glimpse into this intimate decision-making in action. Grabowski said he thought the vice president handled the sensitive question “pretty well,” although he addressed the challenges in interfaith marriages generally but did not elaborate on how couples deal with their differences.
“It was very interesting to hear that exchange, because it’s not usually the case that a prominent politician would think out loud about addressing these issues as a Catholic while respecting his faith and his wife’s beliefs,” Grabowski said.
Interfaith spouses deal with conversion in different ways
Dilip Amin, founder of InterfaithShaadi.org, an online forum primarily serving South Asians, believes conversion for marriage can derail relationships.
“If you convert because you really have a change of heart, that’s fine,” he said. “But if it happens because of constant pressure or proselytization, then that’s wrong. My advice is don’t let religious groups dictate your actions. Talk to each other. You don’t need a third party interpreting the situation for you.”
Ani Sonnefeld, founder and president of Muslims for Progressive Values, said conflicts also arise when one spouse’s religious beliefs change after marriage. She has officiated at many interfaith weddings.
“I’ve seen that tension… in an example where a Muslim husband who wasn’t really interested in practicing Islam became Orthodox after having a child,” Sonnefeld said. “That’s unfair to the other person.”
Rev. J. Dana Trent was an ordained Southern Baptist minister, but married a man who had converted to Hinduism and lived as a monk. The two have been married for 15 years and have written a memoir together titled “Saffron Cross: The Unlikely Story of a Christian Minister Married to a Hindu Monk.”
Trent, who was raised as an evangelical, knows the Bible verse in Corinthians 6:14 that some believe hinders interfaith marriage. In it, the apostle Paul says: “Do not be yoke with unbelievers.”
Trent disagreed with that interpretation, saying that that millennia-old context doesn’t apply in 2025, when interfaith marriages are often not solitary.
“The purpose of interfaith marriage is not to convert each other, but to support and deepen each other’s faith traditions and paths,” she said.
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